Called out from homosexuality

Following a rocky childhood that included drug addiction, physical and sexual abuse, and a lack of a father figure, Janet Boynes engaged in multiple lesbian relationships from 1985-98. Her forthcoming book, Called Out, explains how she left the lifestyle after being befriended by Christians. Boynes, 50, speaks at colleges, high schools, women's conferences and churches about how forsaking homosexuality is possible. She recently spoke with TPE News Editor John W. Kennedy.

tpe: You remained in the lifestyle for 14 years. Did you see this as your destiny?

BOYNES: Sin is fun for a season. When I walked away from the Lord I was scheduled to be married to a man at an Assemblies of God church. I spent too much time with a woman, however. She was not a Christian, and I slept with her. I thought I was walking with God, but I only had a surface relationship and the enemy plucked me out. The Bible says we are drawn away by our own lustful desires. I walked away from the Lord. It was hard to come back, but God is faithful to the backslider.

tpe: Can a single encounter convince a person she is a homosexual?

BOYNES: That didn't influence me to become a lesbian; my childhood convinced me of that. But what put the icing on the cake was when I went to a church for counseling and asked, "If I die am I going to heaven even though I have been living a homosexual life?" I wanted both lives. The clergyman gave me the wrong advice that went against God's plan. He said to me, "It's OK. You will go to heaven."

I had a lot of anger to deal with because one of the men in my mother's life raped me. When I went into counseling, I told the counselor that I didn't want to be a lesbian. Unfortunately she, too, gave me bad advice that helped push me in the wrong direction. She said, "It's OK to be a lesbian."

tpe: You saw a pattern of abusive men in your mother's life.

BOYNES: Yes. When you grow up in a family of seven kids with four different fathers it's very confusing. I never had a normal father figure in the home.  When my stepfather came home drunk there were intense physical fights between him and my mom. I decided I didn't want to have anything to do with men.

tpe: What prompted you to leave lesbianism?

BOYNES: I wasn't happy with that life. I still had a void. I had tried women and cocaine. I had a nice home and I owned a cleaning business with seven people working for me.

One day in 1998 I ran into a woman named Tammy who was shopping at a grocery store at 3 in the morning. We engaged in conversation and she told me she had a son who attended North Central Bible College in Minneapolis — where I had attended for a semester in 1980.

Tammy said, "Why don't you come to church with me?" She went to Maple Grove Assembly of God — right down the street where I lived. Two weeks later I gave my heart back to the Lord. I got involved in a Bible study with women who embraced me, prayed for me and never looked down on me.

tpe: The change didn't happen instantly.

BOYNES: It's been a process and it still is a process. But I have no desire to go back.

tpe: How did mentoring and accountability help set you straight?

BOYNES: These women allowed me to be transparent when I was tempted. They allowed me to call at any time of the day or night and they would pray with me. I also moved in with a Christian family that helped me for a year.

tpe: Was there a risk of improperly transferring your feelings to the adults in that family?

BOYNES: No, I was 40 years old and they were in their 30s and had three little kids. The mom and dad modeled the family that I never had.

tpe: How should Christians reach out to homosexuals?

BOYNES: We just need to be open and be a friend when God places people in our path. It's not our place to try to save them; let the Holy Spirit do His job. Eventually they will see the difference in our lives. It may take awhile. It took me 14 years.

tpe: What can Christians say in response to gay-rights groups that declare people can't change their homosexuality?

BOYNES: We have to be faithful to proclaim God's truth and His plan for sexuality. God created us male and female (Genesis 1:27). The Bible tells us that a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife (Genesis 2:24). It's not OK, as some say, to live a homosexual lifestyle. People who say, "I was born this way," are telling a lie from the pit of hell. God doesn't make mistakes. He didn't say to anyone, "You are supposed to be gay or lesbian."

tpe: But that's a message we hear a lot in society today.

BOYNES: The gay-rights movement has a plan to transform society. A part of their plan is to indoctrinate our kids from an early age to accept homosexuality as normal. Children are impressionable. As Christians we must do everything we can to protect their minds and hearts. It's never too late to share the truth in love. When I speak to a group, I want to give hope to parents who have a child living a homosexual life. I tell them, "Don't give up praying — even if it takes years." tpe

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